Written by Dr. Billingsgate
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Topics: Monkey, Surgery

Tuesday, 25 May 2010

image for Chimpanzee Plastic Surgeon Team Performs Radical Face Lift On Man
Trust Me. I'm A Doctor

This is a true story: Approximately five years ago, Dr. Ollie and Dr. Buddy, the first chimpanzee plastic surgeon team recognized by the American Board of Plastic Surgeons, successfully completed a radical facelift on Mr. St. James Davis without the use of anesthesia.

Mr. Davis, along with his wife, were innocently celebrating the 39th birthday of Moe, who was interning with the other chimps in the compound. Mr. and Mrs. Davis were attacked (operated on) by Drs. Ollie and Buddy.

St. James lost his nose, lips, one eye and all of his fingers (they were bitten off because the scalpel wasn't sharp enough).

Although this operation was performed under less than surgery room conditions, St. James is now fully recovered.

POSTSCRIPT: Although Dr. Ollie and Dr. Buddy were shot to death by a guard who didn't understand the historic importance of the operation, the former Mrs. Davis is now married to Moe the Chimp. Moe was determined by authorities to have had nothing to do with the facelift of St. James, although he did smack his lips from time to time.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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