Written by Bureau
Print this
Topics: Old People

Monday, 24 May 2010

image for Many Wealthy Elderly Tourists Headed For The Gulf Coast For Cures
"Signs Across Gulf: Elderly Crossings"

What has thus far been a total disaster for hotels and businesses around the Gulf of Mexico over the oil spill, may not be so bad after all.

"We read in TheSpoof that everyone here had the shits, over the oil slick mixing into the water supply", stated one old turd. "I haven't had a good old fashioned shit in years, so me and the old lady decided to come here to "Test the Waters" as they said back in our day."

Thousands of old couples continue to arrive from Panama Beach to Buluxi, Mississippi, as word spreads.

Another little old lady stated that her dear grandmother used to "Test The Waters" in French Lick, Indiana.

"The family would take their own rail car and have it unhitched and stay there for months. The springs smelled like rotten eggs. Still does. The people would drink something called 'Pluto Water' and run for the bathroom."

"Of course, years later we learned that the mineral waters had lithium in it so that made everybody feel better. Granny stated that everyone would be placed in four groups according to the disease they had. Then each group would be sent to Minerial Springs #1, #3, #5, and #7 for treatment. Turns out that there were only 4 but they had named them #1,3,5,and 7 to make it appear that there were more. Also, all four came from the same Spring."

Make Bureau's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 5 multiplied by 1?

8 12 5 23
53 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more