Written by Ms Writer
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Oil, Environment

Monday, 24 May 2010

image for EPA Demands New Dispersant
a great dispersant

A US EPA representative today announced that British Petroleum shall be directed to use a less toxic dispersant in the Gulf of Mexico. Reportedly, the dispersant being used up until now was manufactured by a BP subsidiary, and while it was neither clean nor effective, the company "had a large stock pile of it."

The US EPA has been testing Clearasil, a human acne preparation, which the agency says cuts grease and oil remarkably well, whether on the teen-aged nose, or on the ocean floor.

While EPA has not cleared the product for actual ingestion, several resorts have welcomed the idea that after the use of Clearasil as a dispersant, any product remaining in the ocean can be used by beach going tourists as a spa treatment.

The Louisiana Beach Hotel Association President Mark Moriority said "Great; we have a little sand for dermabrasion, a wash of Clearasil and everyone is squeaky clean and exfoliated. The shrimp and clams will be all tidied up before they go in a pot and the fishes' skin will be so nice, you'll beg them to leave it on your serving."

Make Ms Writer's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 multiplied by 1?

7 24 5 12
71 readers are online right now!

Go to top