Written by Ms Writer

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Topics: Oil, Environment

Monday, 24 May 2010

image for EPA Demands New Dispersant
a great dispersant

A US EPA representative today announced that British Petroleum shall be directed to use a less toxic dispersant in the Gulf of Mexico. Reportedly, the dispersant being used up until now was manufactured by a BP subsidiary, and while it was neither clean nor effective, the company "had a large stock pile of it."

The US EPA has been testing Clearasil, a human acne preparation, which the agency says cuts grease and oil remarkably well, whether on the teen-aged nose, or on the ocean floor.

While EPA has not cleared the product for actual ingestion, several resorts have welcomed the idea that after the use of Clearasil as a dispersant, any product remaining in the ocean can be used by beach going tourists as a spa treatment.

The Louisiana Beach Hotel Association President Mark Moriority said "Great; we have a little sand for dermabrasion, a wash of Clearasil and everyone is squeaky clean and exfoliated. The shrimp and clams will be all tidied up before they go in a pot and the fishes' skin will be so nice, you'll beg them to leave it on your serving."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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