As oil started to gush out of faucets all over America and Lake Tahoe prepared to change its name to Lake Tarhole, US citizens began to realize the extent of the oil disaster on the gulf coast. In what many observers are calling, Obama's Katrina,the President has issued a statement finally acknowledging the seriousness of the situation.
The Presidents statement reads: "Grab Your Ankles America, the British Are Coming." The President then goes on to tell the country that it is really not all that bad. "Our oil problems are solved! No more will we have to depend on enemies and third world countries to supply our energy. If fact, the only energy that will be required is to turn on your faucets and your garden hoses. And finally, on my administrations watch, Paul Revere's question is finally answered. It is by sea! It is by sea! At long last, this is truly, Oil Change You Can Believe In."
In related news, reports have been coming into the US Department of Health & Human Services that obstetric units across the country are reporting a drop in hospital births. One doctor reported his patients were having babies at home. "They are squirting out babies like toothpaste out of the tube," he stated. "The Tar Baby lives once again."
Speaking from an undisclosed location, Br'er Rabbit issued the following statement, "Looks like the Tar Babies have come home to roost, literally and figuratively. I'm staying where I am!"
Br'er Rabbit and the Tar-Baby, 1904 The Tar-Baby was a doll made of tar and turpentine, used to entrap Br'er Rabbit in the second of the Uncle Remus stories. The more that Br'er Rabbit fought the Tar-Baby, the more entangled he became. In modern usage, "tar baby" refers to any "sticky situation" that is only aggravated by additional contact. The only way to solve such a situation is by separation.[