SAN JUAN, Puerto Rico - The people of Puerto Rico have held an election and overwhelmingly agreed to take the place of Arizona, once President Obama disqualifies it from being a state.
President Obama has spoken to Puerto Rican Governor Luis "Louie Louie" Fortuno and has informed him that his Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is presently drawing up the official paperwork for what he is calling President Barack Obama's Arizona For Puerto Rico Presidential Directive Trade.
Governor "Louie Louie" Fortuno expressed his deep appreciation to President Brobama, as he affectionately calls him.
The governor went on to add that the Puerto Rican people love watching reruns of Sanford and Son, NYPD Blue, and American Idol.
President Obama assured the governor that he will be making the necessary arrangements needed so that 4,000 U.S. Marshall's can begin the procedure of physically removing current Arizona residents and physically relocating them to Puerto Rico.
Fortuno said that it will be a long and tedious undertaking, but it is one which his countrymen have been waiting for decades to accomplish.
The Puerto Rican governor stated that the residents of Arizona are getting a very good deal because Puerto Rico has a lot of nice buildings, houses, apartments, nail shops, and McDonald's which are a lot nicer than the ones in Arizona.
SIDENOTE: The soon-to-be-ex-governor of Arizona Jan "The Man" Brewer has said that it is illegal to remove the residents of Arizona and replace them with Puerto Ricans. President Obama replied, "Wrong again saguaro cactus breath, watch my Hawaiian ass and see it happen right before your teabaggin' eyes."