Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: Mexico, Arizona

Tuesday, 3 August 2010

image for Mexico Cancels All of Arizona's Piñata Orders
President Winslow is the only president in Latin America who gets an hourly wage. He makes $900 an hour.

MEXICO CITY - The president of Mexico, El Presidente Nacho Winslow has stated on CNN Mexico that he has issued a presidential mandate, (El PM Numero 3209) which states in English as well as in Spanish that effective immediately all piñata orders coming from Arizona will be cancelled.

If the piñata order has been pre-paid the money will be turned over to The Casa For Retired Bullfighters in Tijuana, Mexico.

President Winslow was asked by Juanito Huaraches, a reporter for The Nuevo Laredo Daily Peso newspaper if returning the piñata money wouldn't be the fair thing to do.

The president paused for a moment and asked the reporter to come up to the podium. Senor Huaraches did. As soon as he got within six feet of the president, three of his secret service agents pounced on Huarches and within two seconds had handcuffed him and were leading him away to a waiting squad car.

President Winslow then asked the assembled news media if any of them had any more dumb, stupid-ass questions.

No one said a word.

"Fine. Dat ease what I thought" the president said. "I jussed want ebryone to know dat dees freedum of dee press and free speesh bull crapola duz not fly wiff me."

He went on to say that this is not the United States, and that if anyone has any ideas, thoughts, beliefs, or values dat do not agree wiff his den dat person has dee right to get his ass out of Dodge (Mexico) and move to Guatemala, Belgium, Laos, or East Los Angeles.

SIDENOTE: President Winslow was asked if his country intends to sell any maracas to Arizona. He replied that the allotment of maracas that was to have gone to Arizona is instead going to Kenya where they will be used as sex toys for very fat husbandless Kenyan women.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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