Written by b kenneth mcgee
Print this
Topics: Oil, drinks, Soft Drink

Wednesday, 19 May 2010

image for Bubble Up: BP Announces New Soft Drink!

In what some sources are calling an effort to "make lemonade out of lemons," BP Oil announced today its entry into the soft drink market.

"Bubble Up is a drink for all America," said the spokesperson. "It is not only good to drink, but its health benefits are too numerous to mention. It is a colon cleanser par excellence, and will make those aching joints feel like a well oiled machine. Seniors are recommended to drink at least one can of the brew every three months or 3000 miles, whichever comes first, and the kids are going to love the little toy derricks we are giving away with each six pack."

The spokesman continued, "Our marketing program is to blanket America with the good news of Bubble Up with radio, TV, and billboard ads. The best news is, there is a flavor for every taste: Regular, High Test (with a hint of lime), Shrimperoo, and Oyster Cocktail, are just some of the zesty flavors."

First billboards of Bubble Up will appear in the gulf coast region this week and feature the new can-- a twelve- ounce aluminum can in the shape of a little oil barrel. Twenty-ounce cans are named: The Gusher. The billboard features a large cut-out of Sarah Palin holding a Bubble Up can in the air and shouting out: "Swill,Baby,Swill!"

"If you liked our oil, you're going to love our Bubble Up, finished the spokesman." He did not note the disclaimer that appears in small print on each can: "Do not ingest this product if you are nursing, pregnant, or ever hope to become pregnant. For an erection and/or diarrhea lasting more than four hours, don't call your doctor. You are simply: SOL.

Make b kenneth mcgee's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 3 multiplied by 4?

1 21 15 12
52 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more