Written by Jalapenoman
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Tuesday, 18 May 2010

image for Connecticut Attorney General and Senate Candidate Richard Blumenthal Lied About Military Record
You won't find Blumenthal in this picture

Connecticut's Attorney General and probably Democratic Senatorial Candidate is in hot water nationwide for claiming to be a Vietnam Veteran (when he was not). He is also in trouble for claiming to have been the captain of the Harvard University Swim Team (he was not).

Blumenthal said in multiple speeches and interviews that "when I was in Vietnam" and "when I came home from Vietnam" and "my fellow Vietnam Veterans and I," when he was only in the Marine Corps Reserves and never left the continental United States during his service.

In his press conference, possible former members of the military stood behind the Attorney General to show a United Front (it has not been verified whether or not these people actually served in Vietnam either).

The Democratic Party has vowed to stand behind Blumenthal and has not requested that he withdraw his candidacy or resign his office. In fact, Obama has considered offering him a cabinet post as his record on truth telling matches well with his administration.

New statements made by Blumenthal in the past have now come to light. In his last campaign for office, Blumenthal made the following statements that cannot be verified:

"When I walked on the moon....."

"When I won my first Congressional Medal of Honor...."

"During my first Academy Award acceptance speech...."

"After I helped Al Gore invent the internet...."

"While serving on the jury during Adolf Hitler's war crimes trial...."

"Back when I used to date the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders...."

"It was embarrassing when the Guiness Book recorded that I had the world's largest penis."

"My first World Series perfect game was against the...."

"I really enjoyed it when I was the fifth of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles."

"While working at Los Alamos to develop the first atomic bomb, I...."

"After being crowned Miss America...."

"When I implanted the world's first artificial heart,...."

"After I destroyed the first Terminator that came back to kill Sarah Conner,...."

"After co-starring in and directing A Night In Paris with Miss Hilton,...."

"When the Beatles recorded a cover album of my Number One hit songs,...."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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