Written by Harold Q. Fuey
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Topics: Susan Boyle

Sunday, 16 May 2010

image for SuBo fanatic cashes in!
Cha-ching!

In an astonishing twist of events, the chief Susan Boyle fanatic tonight announced that he is cashing in. For the first time ever the chief fanatic has admitted that the red scarf wearing loonies are actually a business called Fanatical Loonies Incorporated. The business is now up for sale to the highest bidder.

Lower ranking loonies were starting to smell a rat. "I wish I'd known he was making money. I wouldn't have bought a red scarf had I known," sobbed a fanatic.

"We are praying for our leader. He needs all the help he can get!" said a couple of loonies praying.

"I thought all my 'donations' were going to help the red scarf cause? I didn't realise the running costs were actually $1.50 a year. Where did the rest of it all go?" said a very confused fanatic.

A group of fanatics were planning on buying the company. "I'm sure we can raise enough money if we start yet another collection. Perhaps we make another tribute video?" rambled a fanatic.

Meanwhile, the CEO of Team Purple Incorporated announced a hostile takeover of Fanatical Loonies Incorporated. "We'll give 'em $10. Maybe $20 if they apologise!" said the CEO while laughing hysterically.

Financial statements published earlier suggest FLI made a profit of $2.5 billion, mostly from a single donator from California. It would have been more, but records show FLI made a generous donation to a Canadian fanatic to pay for 'dangly bits augmentation' surgery.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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