Written by Amethyst Ryder
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Topics: Canada, Tourists, Arizona

Thursday, 13 May 2010

image for Arizona Deports Canadian Tourist
Waving the wrong flag: Arizona gets tough with suspiciously socialistic non-Americans

Arizona scored another victory in the war to protect its borders from illegal immigration when a Phoenix police officer apprehended an undocumented Canadian while on lunch break at Fries With That All American Cuisine.

In casual conversation with one of the hardworking American fast food servers, the Illegal expressed a preference for hockey over baseball, compulsively added "eh" to the end of every sentence, and commented that "national health care is a wonderful thing."

"I choked on my hot dog," said Officer Joe Plum. "Sounded like Socialism to me!"

Acting upon his knowledge that no true American would advocate any form of Socialism, anytime, anywhere, anyhow, Officer Plum leaped out of his seat, casting his hot dog to one side, and approached the suspiciously socialistic customer to request identification.

The Illegal, who was not permitted to speak to the American press, had nothing in her possession but a twenty dollar bill and a key ring bearing the image of the Canadian flag. "She claimed she left her passport in her hotel room," said Officer Plum. "Uh-huh. I'll bet."

The anti-American foreign-loving freak was taken into custody by Officer Plum and handed over to immigration officials, who deported her to California.

Officer Plum was quick to point out that the deportee had white skin, white hair, and looked nothing at all like a "Messkin."

"No profiling going on here, no sir," he said.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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