Written by Lorenzo Dunning
Print this

Thursday, 13 May 2010

image for Conservative Pundits Accuse Wal-Mart of Having a Socialist Agenda
Does Wal-Mart have a socialist agenda?

Wal-Mart, the world's largest retailer, has announced plans to donate $2 billion in food and other goods to food banks and other nonprofit groups that feed the needy. They have also pledged to share their business knowledge to help charities distribute and store food more efficiently.

At a news conference on Capitol Hill a spokesman said, "Increasingly, we see opportunities to use this scale and reach to solve challenges in our community."

This decision has drawn fire from many right-wing pundits on conservative talk radio programs and on the Fox News Channel.

Rush Limbaugh criticized Wal-Mart by saying, "They have abandoned capitalism for a pro-Obama socialist agenda."

Glenn Beck echoed Limbaugh's comments on his television program and added, "Wal-Mart is taking money out of the hands of their stockholders by giving handouts to those who refuse to work for a living. This is a redistribution of wealth."

The harshest criticism came from Hannity guest, Ann Coulter, and from Sean Hannity himself. "They are punishing hard-working people who spend their money at Wal-Mart by giving food to lazy liberals," Coulter said. "What incentive does anyone have to get a job anymore? The next thing you know, Wal-Mart will start donating medicine to people who have no health insurance. I just wonder when Wal-Mart will open up their first abortion clinic."

Hannity agreed with Coulter's assessment of liberals' work ethic, saying, "Liberals always want something for nothing." He accused liberals of not wanting to work for a living and also criticized liberal labor unions, liberal school teachers, liberal professors, liberal journalists, liberal bookstore managers, liberal psychiatrists, liberal attorneys, liberal activist judges, and liberal climatologists.

Although Hannity stopped short of calling for his viewers to boycott Wal-Mart, he said that the Tea Party participants may choose to shop elsewhere. He added, "Wal-Mart's decision to redistribute the wealth will mean bad news for Democrats in the 2010 midterm elections."

Make Lorenzo Dunning's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 4 multiplied by 3?

5 15 12 8
43 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more