PHOENIX - Governor Jan Brewer in a move to give her state some semblance of unity, civility, and fairness has decided to implement a governor's mandate and change Arizona's nickname from "The Grand Canyon State" to "Teabaggers 'R' Us."
The governor did receive a bit of opposition from some of her fellow GOPers but she said that she is the friggin governor and as such she will pretty effen much do whatever the damn hell she wants.
Governor Brewer then added that she has the total support and complete backing of Maricopa Country Sheriff Joe "Pinky" Arpaio, and that is worth a whole lot of pesos. The governor quickly caught herself and said that she meant to say dollars.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Lots of rumors have been circulating from New Hampshire to Oregon regarding a certain governor and a certain sheriff, but the rumors are totally false and there is no behind the scenes 'poking' going on between Brewer and Arpaio.]
Meanwhile sports reporters are reporting that attendance to Arizona Diamondback games has fallen down considerably. At a recent Diamondbacks - Dodgers game there were actually more players on both teams than there were fans in the stands.
And as for the Grand Canyon, Trella Jo Fruitfunker, the director of the Grand Canyon Coalition, which oversees the day-to-day operation of the gigantic hole in the ground reports that in the past two weeks the big crevice has had no visitors from anywhere in the United States.
Fruitfunker said that usually they get anywhere from 2,000 to 20,000 visitors. She said that she read on the Internet that people who would normally visit the Grand Canyon are instead visiting California's Mojave Desert, Colorado's Pikes Peak, Utah's Great Salt Lake, or Oklahoma's Sooner or Later Museum.
SIDENOTE: There is as yet an unconfirmed report that a Wal-Mart in Santa Fe, New Mexico received a job resume from a certain Governor Janice Kay Brewer of the soon-to-be-ex-state of Arizona.