At least five hundred people have been killed in tornadoes that tore through parts of the US state of Oklahoma, officials say, dramatically improving the state's overall appearance and potentially raising its median I.Q.
The storms forced road closures with two wrecked cars and fifteen thousand overturned pick-up trucks.
Oklahoma is famous as the ugliest state in the US, a fact proven by its choice as the last place where the survivors of government-controlled genocide of Native Americans were driven to eke out a life on the rocky, hellaciously ugly terrain.
The land now called Oklahoma was then designated Indian Territory and packed with surviving members of many, many dozens of tribes.
This lasted about par, ten seconds, after which the US government launched what it called The Great Oklahoma Land Rush and what Native Americans refer to as the (unprintable) last (unprintable) in the gangbang-cum-genocide of the actual original & legal inhabitants of this part of North America.
When asked if White Man Spoke With Forked Tongue on this issue, Chief Last Gasp, historian of Indian affairs in Oklahoma, laughed and had this to say from his double wide on the half-acre 'reservation' that remains to his family after the most recent treaty violation by European whites a.k.a. 'settlers' through their impartial Congressional representatives:
"You'll notice that these tornadoes come every year this time. Every. Single. Year. And every single year, these upstarts are shocked and surprised.
"Have you ever visited Oklahoma? It's awful, it's ugly, it's full of rocky ground, ignorant inhabitants and really bad sushi. My daughter keeps telling me to move to Miami but it's just too much trouble at my age.
"But hey, they wanted Oklahoma, they got it. So, what have they got to cry about?
"And another thing, have you seen even one Indian killed in these tornadoes? One? With even a sprained finger? No, and you won't. All these white people, all these 'settlers' just had to have this last Territory we had. Well, they got it. In spades. How dare they whine now?
Chief Last Gasp shook his head and continued, "Now, some of my people say this is the work of The Great Spirit, this settling of 'settler' scores and one-sided suffering. Me? I take a longer view. It seems clear from recent, annually repeated, news reports that these whites aren't as happy about Oklahoma as they thought they would be. Well, I have a bold solution.
"Preferably without any sneaky Euro-white 'great grandfather clause'. I want to rid Oklahoma, and for that matter the part of North America currently known as The United States, of all its illegal and unwanted immigrants. They are nothing but a drain on resources and are known to live in squalor, contributing nothing but crime.
"I mean, just look at Congress.
"I've consulted with Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer and she has been very supportive, even correcting commas on my proposed anti-immigration bill. She said to stand my ground and ignore all that constitutionality rhetoric. After all, who asked these people to come here?
"Send 'em back where they came from," she told me, said Chief Last Gasp. "Send those white illegals back to a pre-Industrial Revolution land of injustice, religious intolerance, high crime rates and public burnings."
Tehran officials could not be reached for comment on this proposal, but indicated that Iran might not turn away Oklahoma's deported illegals.
After all, they'd fit right in.