Written by Dr. Billingsgate
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Friday, 7 May 2010

image for Supreme Court Agrees With Clinton: Rules "Air Starts" Not Sex
Air Starts Be Sex

Today the Supreme Court, in a divided opinion, ruled that former President Bill Clinton was correct when he stated that, "I did not have sex with that woman." He was referring, of course, to the much publicized air start that he received from Monica Lewinsky in the confines of the Oval Office.

Although the term "air start" is Navy jargon for oral sex, this is the first time that the Supreme Court incorporated these words to describe this as an official, non-sexual act, using legal terminolgy.

Etymologically, the term "air start" was coined by Navy pilots who were accelerated off the carrier deck by a steam catapult system that provided the necessary thrust "that got them off." The Supreme Court, using a posteriori reasoning, decided that because the catapulting of a plane off of a carrier deck could not in any way be construed as a sexual act, it follows that oral copulation was also non-sexual.

Only Associate Justice Clarence Thomas dissented.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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