Written by Stump Parrish
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Topics: Environment

Friday, 7 May 2010

image for The House's Environmental Bill: HR 5019 Causes Mass Confusion in DC

A bill being debated by the House is causing confusion and embarrassment for some high priced gigolos in America. The bill, H.R. 5019, is a green proposal designed to give taxpayers a rebate check for weather-proofing their homes and installing environmental friendly appliances. The confusion began when someone dubbed the bill, "Cash For Caulkers".

Apparently some of the assembled male escorts only heard of the program through word of mouth. 374 of them showed up in D.C., cock in hand looking for a hand out.

One escort who introduced himself as Sir Cock A-Lot carried a sign proclaiming his cock could save the planet.

The confusion was quickly explained and everyone seemed to understood it was simply a misunderstanding.

Several of the younger escorts seemed to be doing a brisk business with a visiting delegation from the Vatican. This seemed to make the trip to D.C. a success for some of the adolescents who made the trip.

The recent bad publicity Catholic Priests have been getting, is finally increasing their patronage of underage male and female prostitutes.

This is due primarily to a newly announced Vatican policy instructing priests to go ahead and pay for their underage sex up front from willing little boys and girls. Further instructions include forwarding the bills to the Holy Rectum's Molestation Fund. Father Benthisdick promised prompt payment for up to 4 visits a month and stated additional bills would be the perverts own responsibility. Father Benthisdick hinted that they were considering a payroll deduction program in the future.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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