Written by Charpa93
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Tuesday, 4 May 2010

image for New Video from Al Qaeda Claims Idiot Bomber Not Theirs
Don't Look at Me, I Didn't Train the Idiot Bomber

Somewhere in a Cave - A new video has been released by Al Jazeera that they claim has come directly from Osama bin Ladin in which bin Ladin emphatically states that in no way was the recent idiotic attempt to bomb NY the work of one of its operatives. "Come on, people, bin Ladin begins, we are professional terrorists here."

Bin Ladin specifically refers to the way the "bomb" was put together by saying that the training their operatives receive don't involve the use of that much duct tape. In fact, bin Ladin goes so far as to say that if he didn't know better, he'd think this guy got his training by watching the American show "America's Dumbest Criminals." "How else do you explain all that duct tape and fireworks? And could he not have gotten the propane tanks from any number of trailers there in the vicinity of the junk yard where they got the license plates?"

Bin Ladin may have a point. There are other schools of thought as to why the bomber did such a poor job. Perhaps Al Qaeda is running out of instructors willing to blow themselves up to teach a lesson in explosives. Said one captive upon interrogation, "we are very serious about getting it right the first time. In most cases, an instructor will tape explosives to himself, showing us exactly how it is done so that we may inflict the most damage to surrounding areas, and then, he pushes the button, blowing himself up. This is the best training we can get."

Many, including bin Ladin doubts the NY bomber received any training. What everyone does agree on is that it is highly probable that this guy is just an idiot. Said bin Ladin, "we don't train idiots."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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