Written by Bureau
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Topics: Mafia, Assassination, Eel

Monday, 3 May 2010

image for "Eel Up The Ass" Assassins Being Hired By The Mafia!
Shopkeeper Trying To Stay Awake

Ever since the story broke last week that some friends of a passed-out, drunken chef in China had placed a live eel up his ass and it ate his bowels, shop owners and other contributors to the Mafia cause, have had a 25% none-service charge.

One anonymous source, Munchini The Rat (probably the name was let slip because this guy really hates the real Munchini The Rat) told one of our reporters that there has been a steady payment ever since a copy of the news story had been left with all their customers.

"They panic. They can't sleep because they knowed some hoodlum like that lowlife Munchini The Rat would stick an eel up their ass. I mean his or her ass. I don't mean they are both. Hey, is it hot in here? Something about that eel story makes you hot. Not that I'm gay, mind you...like that Munchini The Rat. He's not only gay but he hates gays."

"Munchini" said they have never had to actually use the treatment and still relied mostly on the old horse's head in the bed, but that they had to have a 25% increase in pay as the stock market had been stagnant now for the last ten years.

Finally he told this reporter to print only what he has stated here.

"You could throw in a couple more rotten Munchini The Rat stories but you print it that way there or you'll wake up with an eel up your ass. Or maybe Munchini! hee hee That's a joke, LAUGH!" HEE HEE HEE!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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