Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 3 May 2010

image for Glenn Beck Blames President Obama For The Icelandic Volcano
Beck says Eyjafjallajokull would not have erupted if Obama had sold Iceland some volcano eruption retardant chemicals.

QUEENS, New York - Fox News talk show host Glenn Beck has remarked that he is getting sick and tired of President Obama causing so much world-wide havoc.

Beck speaking before a group of second graders at PS-9881 also lashed out at Vice President and Mrs Joe Biden and said he is so upset with them that he even refuses to drink Delaware Punch.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: The Biden's reside in Delaware. Beck is a real work of art; Pakistani yak droppings art.]

Becky, as two of his gay neighbors call him, said that he holds the president responsible for the millions of tons of volcanic ash that spewed forth from Eyjafjallajokull. He explained to the second graders that President Barry refused to sell volcano eruption retardant chemicals to the government of Iceland.

Glenny, as the two fag neighbors also call him, noted that if Barry had sold the Icelanders the VERC the damn, friggin' piece-of-shit volcano would have never erupted.

Suddenly little 8-year-old Polly Holly Weissmuller yelled out to her teacher, Miss Mercedes Sippletower "Ommm, Miss Sippletower Mr. Beck said some nasty boo-boo words. Are you going to wash his mouth out with soap and beat him with your open toed pump like you do to us?"

Mrs. Sippletower turned six shades of red and said that she has never washed anyone's mouth out with soap much less hit them with her opened toed pump.

Right away nine kids took out their cell phones and asked her if she wanted to see the video.

SIDENOTE: Shortly after Mr. Beck's visit he was informed that Miss Mercedes Sippletower was taken into custody and she is now serving six years in New York's Sing Sing Prison.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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