Written by Bureau
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Topics: Oil

Sunday, 2 May 2010

image for BP Oil Leak May Cause Shipping Changes
Jansen: "This Here Is An Oil Tanker, Not A Well"

With all the oil leaking into the Gulf of Mexico, a Vice President at BP says that there will have to be some changes made in shipping.

"For one thing, they'll have to steer clear of all that crap we've leaked out there now", stated Walter Janson. "Then we will need to plan another way in so that this won't get any worse. Finally, I have ordered all our tankers to come into a different port than here because they would go right through this crap."

Janson then stated that they might have to transfer the oil into smaller tankers before entering the Gulf in the future.

"Of course, that wouldn't have helped in this case because that's a well spilling oil, not a tanker. You can always tell a tanker by the way it looks like a floating ship. Now, you take a leaking oil well a mile down, why you can't even see that sucker!"

Being partially satisfied by members of the Gulf state communities, one asked if BP would be held responsible for all the cleanup at the present?

"Oh sure, sure. By the time we finish here, you won't know the place. It'll be cleaner than the many bathrooms at our BP stations all over the United States."

Janson's daddy fired him first thing this morning.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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