Washington, D.C. - Congressmen in the House committee on Abortion and the Right to Chose heard evidence today about a fetus that survived two days after it was aborted.
The fetus, named 'Fred' for evidentiary reasons, was said to have been aborted at a 'big box' abortion clinic in the Dallas inner-city. Within that two days, it is believed to have learned how to do crosswords, written a letter to his congressman, performed simple arithmetic without the use of a calculator and learned how to 'double dutch' with his umbilical cord before succumbing to asphyxiation after choking on a ham sandwich he bought at Nate's Deli.
Congressmen at the hearing expressed concern as to the legal ramifications of an individual classified as 'dead' at birth should that individual actually survive to adulthood.
As one Congressman said, "We can't have a bunch of dead people growing up and avoiding taxes. And how does a legally dead person get a driver's license?"