After a recent report from two former Chiefs of Staff, retired Generals that American youths were becoming too fat to fight, both John Shalikashvili and Hugh Shelton had the shit beat out of them by two 300-pound 18-year-olds yesterday.
Although the two teens, Robert Boyd and cousin Harold Dean McGee, were arrested by police, the two ex-commanders dropped all charges, sending word to police from their hospital beds, once they woke up.
"We saw that article on the internet and Robert and me spotted them leaving a restaurant", stated Harold Dean. "I guess the other general was visiting Shelton who lives here."
Both teens were star football tackles for their local high school this past football season, which went undefeated this year.
"I guess they'll think twice about running off their mouths from now on. I just hope we didn't kill that alphabet general, what's-his-ass, because he kept getting up", added Boyd.
Still both agreed that the former generals were nice to drop any charges.
"Shoot. It was a fair fight. But when old Shelton went down, I belly-flopped him. He didn't move after that", stated McGee.