Written by Tawdry Soup
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Topics: Oil, Louisiana

Saturday, 1 May 2010

Tippy Toe, LA: Amos Moses, an old Cajun who lives by his self in the swamp, hunts alligators for a livin, he just knock 'em in the head with a stomp, was fined 100 clams yesterday for tossing an old soup can from his truck window in plain sight of a Louisiana Sheriff.

As the black tide known as the BP oil disaster crept closer to shore, it was easily seen behind Moses as he stood on the side of the gravel road and tried to make sense of the situation.

"Look officer," said Moses, you know my parents, Doc Mill Sap and his purty wife Hannah, and everybody around here knows I can eat up my weight in groceries. Heck-I'm even named after a man of the cloth, but I don't understand why you givin' me a ticket when you can look out there and see the end of the world."

As he spoke, Moses waved his remaining arm toward the oil sheen. That's all he got left cuz an alligator bit it. Left arm gone clean up to the elbow.

"What the hell does a soup can matter now? Somebody oughta burn the people who running BP out of their home, and hang those bastards for killing all our wildlife."

The Sheriff then became agitated and reminded Moses that under a Bush era law known as the Animal Enterprise Terrorism Act, if you do anything to a corporation to protect wildlife that interrupts its business, you'll be stripped of your civil rights, and go to jail for the rest of your life.

"Really?" asked Moses. About that time Moses took off running deep into the swamp, with the Sheriff in hot pursuit.

The Sheriff shouted, "I'm gonna get you boy!" But he never come out again.

Wonder where the Louisiana Sheriff went to? You can sure get lost in a Louisiana Bayou.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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