Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatics from around the world (alright, the USA) were last night converging on Las Vegas for the first annual 'SuBo Fanatic Wealthy Husband Contest'. Arriving in a flurry of red limousines, the fanatics were dressed in their finest with their wealthy husbands several paces behind.
"We just had to come!" enthused one fanatic draped in diamonds. "I believe my husband is considerably richer than any of the others here!"
"Well, we have six houses all over the world, and I haven't had to work since the day I was born. I have plenty of time and money to follow Susan around the world and gatecrash all her private parties! Now, where is that little man with the drinks? My wealthy husband will sue him if he doesn't freshen my drink soon!" boasted another.
Another fanatic, the founding member of FARTS (Fanatics Acquire Riches Through Sex), boasted "We'll win this one no problems! We could fart a million dollars! This lot are mere peasants compared to us! Now move along, our private jet is double-parked."
One fanatic brought her dead husband along in an urn. "My what's his name was very wealthy. There's nothing in the rules to say your husband has to be alive. He left me very rich indeed!" said the elderly fanatic adjusting her ear trumpet.
The contest was hosted by Piers Morgan, who told the crowd "Ladies, I'm available! I need somebody to pay my speeding fine!"
The contest ended in farce, when it was discovered the winner was ineligible. "The winner had forgotten to 'donate' enough money, so we had to ban her," said a chief fanatic.