CHARLOTTE, North Carolina - It is only the sixth time in his golf career that Tiger Woods has failed to advance in a tournament.
Three times it was because he had a bicuspid infection, twice due to the mumps, and once because he said that he had a swelling of the crotch due to seasonal allergies.
The golfing world was stunned as perhaps the greatest golfer of all time seems to have stumbled in front of the viewing world as well as the millions who feel that he has disrespected the honorable sport of golf due to his 'greedy gut' attitude and desire to pork every willing white blonde that bats her eyelashes at him.
Tiger was asked what the hell his problem is. He shot back "Hey dude don't ya read the friggin newspapers. They are all ganging up on me and making me out to the bad guy."
When told that he cheated on his wife with 121 different women so that pretty much does make him out to be a bad guy, a damn, low-life, thinking with-his-pecker, punk ass cheater chump effen bad guy.
Tiger raised his eyebrows and asked, "Really?"
Sadly Woods is an example of a guy who is quite talented but for some dumb, stupid, mysterious reason chooses to think with his wandering pee-pee. Well before it is all over his WPP may cost him around half a billion bucks.
SIDENOTE: Jonas Pickenbicker, director of The Pro Golfers Amalgamated Alliance of which Woods is a charter member stated off-the-record that Tiger told him that the reason he is playing so bad is due to his wiener being extremely tired...and we will just leave it at that.