Shreveport, LA - Former president George W. Bush is directly responsible for the terrible oil slick in the Gulf of Mexico. Many people reported seeing Mr. Bush dive into the Gulf a few days ago, wearing scuba gear and carrying dynamite. Witnesses also reported seeing Mr. Bush on the shore later, pointing at the collapsing rig and cackling like a madman.
Mr. Bush can't resist causing trouble, everywhere around the world. Many people reported seeing Mr. Bush hiking in Iceland, just before the volcano exploded. Apparently, Mr. Bush planted dynamite at the volcano's peak, just for his own sadistic pleasure. Mr. Bush was seen by numerous witnesses later, pointing at the dark cloud, and laughing like a maniac.
Former presidents are desperately tyring to help Mr. Bush with his antisocial behaviour. Jimmy Carter is trying to interest him in building houses. Bill Clinton is trying to interest him in dating interns. Mr. Bush's father, George H. W. Bush, is especially worried about his son:
"He was always a strange kid, always blowing things up and making trouble. We took him to doctors, but no one could help. Maybe we should take him to an institution. He still has a few nuclear bombs, so there is reason to be concerned." he said grimly.