Written by Charpa93
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Thursday, 29 April 2010

image for Last Authentic Mexican Restaurant Closes Today in Arizona

Nogales, Arizona - The only way Arizonans are going to get real authentic Mexican food after today is if they are fortunate enough to have made friends with some real authentic Mexicans, of if they are willing to risk life and limb trying to cross the border over into Mexico. The way it looks now, real authentic Mexicans, regardless of their immigration status, are not feeling too friendly these days.

Juanita Gonzales of Pancho's Authentic Mexican Restaurant confirmed that she is that last holdout in Arizona that she knows of. "Oh, there may be a few free-standing taco stands out on the fringes of town, but for the most part, any Mexican worth their salt in cooking, has packed up their pots and tortilla warmers and moved back into Mexico. This is the only way we know to really hurt the lawmakers where they live, by taking away our knowledge of cooking the foods they have come to crave. I'd love to see them now on a late Saturday night with a craving for our famous beef burritos."

Maggie MacDowell, a Nogales transplant from Boston, is plenty mad at this latest fallout from the passing of legislation that allows Arizona law enforcement officers to determine whether or not to stop certain citizens if they believe they may be illegal immigrants. "I have been coming to Pancho's every day for the past four years for lunch. There is no other place in town or in Arizona, for that matter, that serves a better chile relleno," she said while eating what will be her last authentic Mexican meal in Nogales.

With tears in her eyes, (the authentic Mexican salsa may be partially to blame), MacDowell continued, "I tried a couple of those Tex-Mex places in town, but their food just stinks up the place compared to Pancho's. Sure, I was all for the new law when they were telling me how secure our border was going to be and how the crime would slow down, but they lied. The only thing this stinkin' law did was get rid of the best place in the world to eat. I'm never gonna listen to another politician again."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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