Written by Charpa93
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Arizona, New Age

Thursday, 29 April 2010

image for Vortexes in Sedona, Arizona Appear to be Disappearing

Sedona, AZ - Sedona, Arizona, once known world-wide as a Mecca for those looking for metaphysical experiences due to the unusually large amount of vortices (vortexes) located there, is seeing a string of unhappy visitors leave the various sites of Bell Rock, Cathedral Rock and Boynton Canyon totally dispirited and angry.

In the past few days, many seekers of peace and harmony who had planned on experiencing the powers of these spiritual wellsprings have gone away saddened and disappointed. "I came here several months ago to visit Bell Rock and left with such a peaceful feeling throughout my entire body," claimed Shanna Eyeful, a practicing New Age therapist. "This time, there was something horribly wrong. Instead of peaceful and harmonious feelings, I came away feeling as if I could physically strangle the hell out of someone. Sorry about the language, but I've been swearing like this ever since I left Bell Rock."

Others have experienced similar phenomena. "The whole energy surrounding this once highly spiritual area has shifted and now it seems to be scaring folks instead of nurturing them," says Horace "Astro" Scopes, leader of Sedona's 'Screaming Orange Jeep Tours". "I've been asked to refund so many of my customers' tour fees that I may now be forced to sell off one of two of my Jeeps just to pay the lease on my Hummer."

Resorts across the area are witnessing a high volume of cancellations as word spreads across the New Age community. "The only reservations we're seeing around here are of the Native American kind," said one resort owner. "What was I thinking by supporting that asinine anti-immigration Bill?

Many Arizonans are clueless. In addition, they don't know why this is happening now. Native Americans in the region believe that the spirits that dwell in the vortices have decided that until people can act like true spiritual beings toward their fellow man, they are no longer interested in trying to help them attain a more heightened sense of being. As one Hopi elder put it, "the spirits tried, and some genuinely came to listen and to learn, but the majority of those living in this most mystical land have chosen money, greed and ridiculously-colored Jeeps over more important spiritual things, and they will now know the consequences."

Make Charpa93's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 multiplied by 2?

8 19 15 10

Go to top