PHOENIX - Arizona Governor Jan Brewer, who is 65, has made it known that the way things are going, the sovereign state of Arizona will probably have no choice but to secede from the union.
The governor, who looks like a cross between Melissa Etheridge and Cindy McCain, except for a hell of a lot more facial wrinkles, straighter hair, and not so much money, said that a lot of Arizonians are hopping mad about the Senate Bill 1070 protesters. She added that a lot of the protesters can not even read or write English, or Spanish for that matter.
One protester who identified himself as George Lopez, but not THE George Lopez the semi-comedian said that yes it is true that he cannot read or write English or Spanish but he is a hell of a whiz when it comes to reading and writing German, French, Russian, and Alaskan.
Meanwhile over in Maricopa County, Sheriff Joe Arpaio stated that he will do everything in his power to make sure that no illegal space aliens land in his county and try any funny business; such as asking to be taken to leaders, ignoring yield right of way signs, and trying to mate with Saguaro cactuses.
Sheriff Arpaio, who looks a lot like a Jackie Gleason, noted that if he finds any illegal space alien spaceships in his county he will impound them and sell them off at The First Tuesday of Every Month Vehicle Auction.
In breaking news. Contrary to initial reports Hoover Damn is not breaking. It does have about three small leaks, but they will be repaired as soon as Tyler Piffenpister, the damn leaks repairman returns from his honeymoon in Iceland.