John Milsap, a retired 89 year old farmer from Stanton, Nebraska, reported that his wife, Irina, threw away his collection of gold Double Eagle coins that he stored in a 10 gallon milk can located in the hay-loft of his barn. He estimated that there were at least 300 of these coins in the can. Milsap said that "I never put them in a safe deposit box because I loved to look at them and feel their rich weight. Made me feel warm and fuzzy."
"The other night I went to check on them and they weren't there. I asked Irina if she knew where they were. She said that she threw them out because she thought that they had expired because they were older than their stamped dates."
Irina, whom he met on the internet, came from Russia and is 23 years old with big hooters and disheveled hairy armpits. She replaced John's wife of 60 years who died two years ago. Alas, while milking a cow she fell off her stool and was kicked in the head by an irate Golden Gurnsey whose teat she held on to while falling. Not wanting to live a lonely life on his farm, he became engaged via email, and was married in Russia. Upon satisfying his lust by groping his new bride in a dacha outside Moscow, they returned to Nebraska.
Mr. Milsap believes his wife, an itinerant gypsy, is now visiting her family back in Russia and will be back before fall harvest time.