Written by Kyle Emall
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Topics: Medical, Iowa

Monday, 31 January 2005

Gary Stokes, 44, and a crane operator for the Mainstreet Construction Company located in Sioux City,Iowa, recieved first and second degree burns while on the job building the new Peter Thoreen Berevement Center next to St. Lukes Regional Medical Center last Friday. His burns covered his left arm and mid section, However, due to cutbacks, St. Lukes was unable to Treat Gary's injury. The Burn and trama unit just recently closed as a way for the hospital to recover from a slump in recovery patients in the last two years.
Reporters talked with Peter Thoreen, CEO of St. Lukes, over the weekend and made this announcement, "We need to pay attention to the needs of public, and treating the injury just isn't enough. The Berevement center can cover the final area of medical treatment, the loss family members feel when a patient dies due to illness or injury." When asked about Gary Stokes, Mr. Thoreen had ready a P.R. P.R. (public relations planned response), "What happened to Gary was hard on us all in this community, his company had adequete coverage for a crane operator, but the insurance just didn't cover burns. He's a crane operator, how the heck did he get burned?!"
The Peter Thoreen Berevement Center is a 16 story Pyrimid shaped facility, complete with several chapels to cover all christian faiths (an interfaith worship center), as wel as 13 portraits of Mr. Thoreen on each floor, a 40 foot mural and fountain, depicting all of the contributions Peter has made in the 4 years spent as administrator, and a 20 foot long plexiglass donation "tank" where people can empty their pockets to the Peter Thoreen Fund. Mr. Thoreen Has stated that a six inch by six inch area in one corner of the lobby area near the emergency fire exit will be set aside for a sculpture to be donated in memory of Gary's accident.
As for Gary, he was let go from his construction job at Main Street Construction, a subsidiary of Thoreen Industries. However, he is expected to recover from his injuries, in the small chance he doesn't the Peter Thoreen Berevement Center will be ther for his family at the end of September, 2005. Anyone can donate the sculpture to be presented by calling Thoreen Industries, and leaving a detailed message.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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