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Topics: Washington, Baseball

Wednesday, 21 April 2010

image for Nation's Capitol Shown to Have Three Baseball Teams
"Voters Up!"

Washington DC: The Washington Nationals have been a part of major league baseball (MLB) in this city since 2005. However, there are two older MLB teams resident in the District of Columbia, namely the Democratic Liberals and the Republican Conservatives.

The Democratic Liberals currently own Congressional Stadium, giving them the home field advantage for the moment. The owner of the Democratic Liberals is a Mr. Obama, who spares no expense in getting the best players money can buy by scalping the fans with exorbitant ticket prices.

The tobacco chewing General Manager of the Democratic liberals, a Ms. Majority Pelosi funnels this money through the Head Coach Mr. Reid to keep the team healthy. Several outstanding players, a Mr. Nelson known as the "Cornhusker Kickback" and a Ms. Landrieu known as the "Louisiana Purchase" were persuaded to play ball with Head Coach Mr. Reid. Many of the other players are ambidextrous, such as when right hander Mr. Stupak batted left handed when Manager Pelosi paid him enough to switch hit and abort his game. Many of the players are permanently leaving the game because of personnel injuries sustained during last season. The Democratic Liberals have one major fault, as they all want to play left field.

The Republican Conservatives are led by their soft spoken General Manager Mr. Minority Boehner and his Head Coach Mr. McConnell. The Republican Conservatives are more like a football team, lots of front line blockers, which is understandable as General Manager Ms. Majority Pelosi won't let the Republican Conservatives truly play in the game. (The Democratic Liberals Empire a Ms. Slaughter also keeps changing the rules in favor of the current home team.) There are many up and coming players such as a Mr. Brown formally of the Boston League and a Mr. Cantor from the Commonwealth League. The Republican Conservatives also have one major fault, as they all want to play right field.

Rumors have it that a fourth team the Tea Partiers is seeking MLB status, but their right field players will probably join the Republican Conservatives in order to be part of a winning team.

The World Series Playoff games will occur on November 2, 2010. The fans could select the Republican Conservatives as the new home team for the next season, send the Democratic Liberals back to the minor leagues and Congressional Stadium may be under new management.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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