Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 22 June 2010

image for Justin Bieber, Vanessa Hudgens, Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, and Sir Paul McCartney To Star In "Damn Volcanic Ashes - The Eyjafjallajokull Story"
A recent photo of Iceland's Eyjafjallajokull volcano. (Photo courtesy of Miley Cyrus)

HOLLYWOOD - Cripple Creek Pictures in association with The Candlelight Motion Picture Company has just informed the entertainment media that they will soon begin production on the film Damn Volcanic Ashes - The Eyjafjallajokull Story.

The motion picture will be directed by one of Italy's foremost directors Allesandro Fiafatanelli, who recently directed Taylor Lautner, Taylor Swift, Johnny Depp, Lindsay Lohan, Jesse James, and Cloris Leachman in the World War II comedy epic What The Hell Was Japan Thinking?

In that film which was shot in Osaka, Japan, Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift portrayed President and Mrs. Franklin Delano Roosevelt. Johnny Depp starred as Prime Minister Winston Churchill. Lindsay "LiLo" Lohan portrayed cheesecake pinup girl Betty Grable and Jesse James starred as Adolf Hitler.

In the volcano movie Vanessa Hudgens will be starring as Iceland's lesbian prime minister Johanna Sigurdardottir and Kristen Stewart will be starring as the prime minister's life long partner.

The intimate bedroom scenes between Hudgens and Stewart are reportedly some of the steamiest lesbianite scenes ever filmed.

In fact originally, Sandra Bullock had been offered the role of Johanna Sigurdardottir but she insisted on having the role of Johanna's life long partner played by Sandra's "Kissing Gal Pal" Scarlett Johansson. The producers said "No dice."

Justin Bieber will be portraying Hans Foffentat, the prime minister's pool boy. Robert Pattinson will be portraying one of the stars of Dancing With The Stars, Derek Hough, and Sir Paul McCartney will star as himself.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: It has been reported that Jesse James actually used his own personal Nazi helmet, German uniforms, SS artifacts, and Third Reich memorabilia.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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