Written by Cuff
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Topics: Sex, Oprah Winfrey

Sunday, 18 April 2010

image for Oprah Winfrey to Be Official Spokesperson for New Sex Pill
Horny Goat Pharacueticals is here for women!

Horny Goat Pharmaceuticals announced FDA approval of its female enhancement drug LiagrO and that Oprah Winfrey was tabbed as the drugs official talking head.

Horny Goat is known for its Liagra and Liagra II sex pills and has used its expertise to develop what is expected to be one of the most welcome reliefs for the ongoing problem of female orgasm.

"It is about cuffing time." Oprah gushed. "Uncountable research has been devoted to the fact that less than sixty percent of all women can achieve orgasm and I am not ashamed to say I was one of them. I repeat; I WAS one of them. LiagrO works and if taken as a daily supplement you will be guaranteed to achieve orgasm within sixty seconds whether you want to or not."

Oprah took time to smack on the recent publication of her unauthorized biography by Catty Cunty and assured her minions that she is not gay. She also claimed her ill advised affair with John Tesh (whoever that is) just proves she is a normal woman and makes 'mistakes that we all regret'. She also said that her biological father is an okay guy but she doesn't care about the issue any more.

Her calm and overall peaceful demeanor during the interview peaked our curiosity so we investigated this wonder pill and read the required 'disclaimer'.

WARNING: 99.9% OF WOMEN TESTED EXPERIENCED MULTIPLE ORGASMS AND HEIGHTENED SEXUAL ACTIVITY, INCREASED ORAL SEX DESIRE, DRESSING IN EROTIC LINGERIE AS WELL AS ELIMINATION OF MOOD SWINGS AND CONFRONTATIONAL BEHAVIOR, DILIGENCE IN MAKING BANK DEPOSITS AND BALANCING CHECKBOOKS, REFUSAL TO TAKING THEIR BEST GIRLFRIENDS STUPID ADVICE, LOSING INTEREST IN THEIR CATS AND REPLACING THEM WITH DOGS, INCREASED OUTDOOR ACTIVITY SUCH AS HUNTING AND FISHING, INCREASED BEER DRINKING, LACK OF DESIRE TO ASK STUPID QUESTIONS LIKE HOW THEIR ASSES LOOKED IN JEANS, MAKE PRUDENT PURCHASES BASED ON CURRENT CLOTHES AND SHOES IN THEIR CLOSETS, DECLINED INTEREST IN MINDING OTHER PEOPLES AFFAIRS, INCREASE IN ORGANIZED PRE DRIVING ATTENTION TO MAKE-UP, DECREASED DESIRE TOWARD PHONE CONVERSATION, PAID MORE ATTENTION TO GAS, OIL, AND TIRE PRESSURE LEVELS AND ELIMINATION OF GUILT FEELINGS MOST LIKELY FROM THE ABOVE MENTIONED ITEMS.

We hail this new enhancement drug and feel it is about time that the drug makers did something to ease the life of women in the world. Thank you Horny Goat.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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