Breaking a long standing precedent, The United States Supreme Court has decided to issue the following ruling in the form of a limerick.
Historically, this has been done only in Scotland back in the 12th Century, but now that the Court is relying on Europe for historical reference in it's decisions, it is not surprising that they should do so in the case of Lewinsky vs Kaczynski.
With Associate Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg writing the majority opinion in which she, Justices Stephen Breyer, Sonia Sotomayer, Anthony Kennedy and John Paul Stephens agreed, the following majority decision was made in the case where Monica Lewinsky and the letter bomber, Kaczynski were pitted against each other:
We have ruled Lewinsky be no ho
Because "is" does not include fellatio
However, we have concluded that
Since Kaczynski's letters went "bang"
He must be condemned to hang.
The dissenting opinion by Associate Justice Clarence Thomas, writing for Chief Justice John Roberts, and Associate Justices Antonin Scalia and Samuel Alito:
We dissenters have agreed this to be true
After arguing until our faces turned blue
Lewinsky and Kaczynski were linked
In both instances there was a dink
Therefore, Monica was a ho, through and through.
Note: The Court has been advised by the Solicitor General that he will not publish future Supreme Court decisions unless they are pithily written in acceptable limerick form.