Written by Abel Rodriguez

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Topics: Iceland, volcano

Saturday, 17 April 2010

image for Scientists Have Named Iceland's Gigantic Volcanic Ash Cloud After Kirstie Alley
Volcanic lava ash which has formed into The Kirstie Alley Volcanic Ash Cloud. (Photo courtesy of Kate Gosselin).

MISSOULA, Montana - Scientists from the world renowned North American Volcanic Ash Observatory, located in downtown Missoula, Montana, have named the gigantic volcanic ash cloud emanating from Iceland's volcano, The Kirstie Alley Volcanic Ash Cloud.

The director of NAVAO Craig F. Kipplemeister stated that the observatory's governing body picked the name of the volcanic ash cloud from a list of names that included Wynonna Judd, Oprah Winfrey, Aretha Franklin, and Gabourney Sidibe.

Queen Latifah's name was originally on the list but her name was removed when it was learned that Queen Latifah already had a volcano, a lake, and a sanitary landfill named after her.

NAVAO has said that the Kirstie Alley Volcanic Ash Cloud is so huge that it can be seen from far away places such as Jupiter; Saturn; Uranus; and Neptune, New Jersey.

Experts on the mechanics of volcanoes have said that if the volcanic rumblings do not stop and stop soon, they will soon start to affect the mating habits of the Wyoming water fleas, the Danube River dung beetles, the Pakistani dual pricked pill bugs, and the Timbuktu tree frogs.

SIDENOTE: Reports coming out of Hollywood are stating that Kirstie Alley is extremely thrilled at having such an important world wide phenomenon named after her.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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