World known weight yo-yo Kirstie Alley embraced the opportunity to Dance with the Stars by shedding fifty pounds in one week!
The champion of the new diet is none other than Michelle Obama who is using her respected political status in order to address obesity in America.
As everyone knows the number one problem with America's poor people is that they are overweight. In comparison with other poor people of the world that issue seems more like a goal but what better way to illustrate this than with what is hailed as the most effective diet solution ever devised; The Darfur Diet.
Kirstie was air dropped into the Sudanese armpit equipped with a pair of Nikes, a GPS, a jogging suit, and a tapeworm. Her goal was to reach the headquarters of Amnesty International, a mere seventy miles away, before being killed or kidnapped.
Eating nothing but scorpions and drinking cactus juice she evaded both the Janjaweed militia and the Sudanese Liberation Army both of whom had been alerted to her presence.
Running for her life on many occasions she finally made it to the sanctuary and though appearing on her favorite TV show was her stated goal her true motivation was the KFC Double Down.