Written by shea lo
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Wednesday, 14 April 2010

image for Dr. Zaius becomes Sarah Palin's Scientific Adviser and Chief Defender of the Faith for Tea Party

Sarah Palin and her fellow Teabaggers want to take America back to the way it used to be. But having lost out in a straw poll to both Mitt Romney and Ron Paul - she and her rudderless Teabaggers are finding out that while it's easy to Just say no to everything - if you want to get votes you reeeely-reely-reeely need to have a vision and a strategy.

So today on the Glen Beck show Sarah Palin announced the appointment of Dr. Zaius as her Chief Scientific Advisor. Dr. Zaius will also play a dual role as Chief Defender of the Faith to the Teabagger Party

"Unh-hunh, yup, you betcha", Ms. Palin told reporters as she confirmed this appointment. "We sure are lookin' at old-fashioned values and nobody does it better than Dr. Zaius."

She clarified that Dr. Zaius knows the true origins of "our wonderful conservative Americans"; that he believes in promoting an imperfect, ignorant society by banning learning through curiosity and open-mindedness and that he fears intelligent people just as she and her Teabaggers do.

As her adviser Dr. Zaius will teach her how to protect America from the "walking pestilence" of liberal/socialist/commies.

"I'm ready to learn everything I can from him - it'll be like My Fair Lady. We've been told by Rush Limbaugh and Glen Beck that Dr. Zaius has had lots of experience in this type of repressin' stuff in his country of Apeland - which I think is somewhere near Alaska - jest a hoot an' a holler from Russia so we welcome him to America"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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