The campaign of erstwhile GOP presidential candidate, Sarah Palin, ran into an unexpected snag, Friday, when she was refused entry, on a flight from Baltimore to Pittsburg.
"I don't get what the big deal is," said Palin, a lifetime member of the NRA. "In Alaska, everybody keeps a shotgun in their suitcase."
Secretary of the Department of Homeland Security, Janet Napolitano stated "We've been monitoring the Tea Party movement, because many of them carry guns, and are openly hostile to government officials, and popularly elected representatives. There have been a whole string of events, involving threats to democratically elected officals."
Napoliano added, "We have been monitoring the flow of money to the Tea Party movement, with millions of dollars, being discretely transferred between banks. We have traced their source of funding to a group of wealthy insurance executives, on the East Coast."
Professor of political science, Barney Hampton, observed, "Since the GOP crashed the entire US banking system, and the global stock market, during George Bush's last term in office, they are having a hard time motivating any of their ususal supporters to go out and campaign for them."
"So, the only folks the insurance companies have been able to get to help them, is this group of noisey, low-brow, ignorant and scurrilous trouble-makers."
Professor Hampton continued, "The Tea Party movement, is a largely self-defeating organization. They are so ignorant, and misinformed, that they are not likely to convince anybody of anything. However, when they start advocating violence against a democratically elected goverment, they are clearly guilty of Treason."
Sarah Palin has been traveling the country, and visiting many of these violent groups of terrorists.
Since Palin has been barred from any domestic flights, she is expected to begin her cross-country presidential campaign, next month, traveling by Greyhound.
Editors note: Evan Essence received his Masters Degree in Journalism (2003), and his PhD in Political Science (2004) from House-of-Spam Internet Marketing