Written by Stump Parrish
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Gay, San Francisco, prom

Saturday, 10 April 2010

image for California Prom Canceled After Straight Date Request
Happy Homo Senior Glee Cub members rally to protest this heterosexual attack on their way of life

San Francisco California : A high school in south western San Francisco is making headlines for refusing to host a high school prom after a straight student demanded she be allowed to to attend with her boyfriend and wear a dress.

The primarily straightaphobic suburb of San Francisco, has long been proud of it's stance against straights in America. A plaque of gratitude hanging in the exquisitely decorated lobby of the Imahomo School Board offices carries this inscription, "Our school board shares our beliefs and fights to keep those disgusting straight people and their perverted behaviors away from our precious little faglets" presented with depest gratitude by the Red Hat Gentlemans Society and Turkish Bath 1969

The obviously bigoted county school district's policy requires that senior prom dates be of the same sex. The ACLU has given the district until yesterday to change that policy and allow 18-year-old Connie McMaster to be escorted by her boyfriend, who is also a student, to the dance on July 4th.

Instead, the school board met and issued a statement announcing it wouldn't host the event at Happily Homo High School in Imahomo County "due to the distractions to the educational process caused by recent events."

The statement didn't mention McMaster or the ACLU. When asked by The Associated Press if McMaster's demand led to the cancellation, school board attorney Michele Diane Boyd said he could only reference the statement.

"It is our hope that private citizens will organize an event for the juniors and seniors," district officials said in the statement. "However, at this time, we feel that it is in the best interest of the Imahomo County School District, after taking into consideration the education, safety and well being of our precious faglets."

The ACLU said a school policy banning opposite-sex prom dates violated McMaster's constitutional rights.

Kristy Bennawoman, legal director for the ACLU of California, said he felt that the district was trying to avoid the issue.

"But that doesn't take away their legal obligations to treat all the students fairly," Bennawoman said. "On Connies behalf, this is unfair to her. All she's trying to do is assert her rights."

Bennawoman said she wouldn't allow McMaster to comment on Wednesday, saying "she's still trying to process" the district's actions. Calls to McMaster's cell phone went unanswered.

Note...Please cast a vote and let me know what you think about this blatant attempt to straighten out San Francisco's gay population against their collective and smartly attired will.

Remeber to vote on all stories you read and have a great day.

AIP EXCLUSIVE BY Stump Parrish Associated Idiots Press staff writer

Make Stump Parrish's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 multiplied by 1?

5 1 2 8

Go to top