Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 8 April 2010

image for Jon Gosselin Files Court Papers For It To Be "Jon Plus 8 Minus Kate"
Kate Gosselin describing the size of her ex-husband Jon's wiggle widget.

PITTSBURGH - Jon Gosselin the former Jon of the old reality show Jon and Kate Plus 8, has filed documents in the state court that state that he wants the kids taken away from their mother Kate, aka "King Kate," and custody given to him.

Jon stated that for the past month Kate has abandoned the 8 little Gosselins to run off and appear with Tony Dovolani on Dancing With The Stars.

Mr. Gosselin says that his eldest girl texted him and told him that the kids have not seen mommy in so long that they do not remember what she looked like, except that they remember that she has blonde hair, fat calves, cellulite on her thighs, and a horrible, horrible attitude.

Kate responded by saying that although she will agree that at times her attitude may be horrible, it has never ever really been horrible, horrible.

"King Kate" added that her ex-husband, whom she refers to as Jon the Korean Boy, is just upset with her because she verified what one of his girlfriends had said about him having a 3-inch dinky dink.

Jon responded to Kate's remark by saying that even if he had an 8-inch taco tickler it would not be enough to fill up the Grand Canyon that his ex-wife has between her over sized thighs.

In other news. Jennifer Lopez has stated that recent rumors saying that she is having a butt reduction are false. J Lo said that she is very proud of her washing machine sized bootay, thank you.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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