In a move applauded by all social reformers President Barrack Obama announced his plan to pay for the massive health care reforms as well as address the moral decay of the country.
Beginning 1-1-2011 all news, internet, and television programming will be under the direct control of the BBC, Barrack Broadcast Company, where every citizen will be required to purchase a license in order to utilize the streamlined services. In addition to the annual fee there will be a 'per click' charge for any news sites as well as content controls to be managed by the BBC.
"America made it clear when they elected me that there is division in our country and I made a campaign pledge to eliminate this polarization. By controlling what people hear and see we can get the bible clingers and gun slingers to see the truth. The days of debate and discussion are over; we must move forward."
When asked why on-line news was singled out. "The print media is one of the largest union employers in the country and with the development of the internet they have lost readers and influence not to mention the fact news is no longer subject to judicious scrutiny."
When asked if he meant for accuracy. "Hell no for bias. Channels like Fox are annoying enough but when you have an open forum where people are audacious enough to express their opinions contrary to the minority something has to be done."
When pressed for obvious violation of free speech. "We addressed that with our rebate program where certain channels and programs actually refund the license fees such as ABS, Acorn Broadcast Service, which is a DYI for aspiring 'social workers'. We also have developed a pilot for what we feel will be the best reality show ever produced; 'Republicans gone wild' and have already signed Al Gore as the host. We also have agreed to participate in the Big Brother franchise with a reality show 'Gitmo Club Med' where viewers will vote on who gets kicked off the island. There will be no limit on the fun!"