Written by Cuff
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Topics: Death, Flying

Tuesday, 6 April 2010

image for Two Women Detained for Bringing Dead Body on Plane
up up and awry!

In a stunning event at JFK airport two women were detained for having brought a dead body on a return flight to London. Details are just emerging but apparently the suspects were on their way back from a weekend house in Hampton Beach owned by the corpse Willy Bernard.

Both suspects have been identified as low level insurance agents and Mr. Bernard had been a person of interest in an ongoing criminal investigation involving insurance fraud.

The women are said to be German nationals and claimed that they thought the dead man was alive and were returning to England in order to keep Willy's doctors appointment fearing it would be rescheduled 'within three months'.

According to the FBI's task force on organized crime the said Hampton beach house had been under surveillance during the weekend and they supported the women's claims that Willy appeared alive although a coroners report verified he had been poisoned several days prior with a heroin overdose.

The FBI presented a variety of videos showing the alleged corpse playing monopoly and then jumping on to a would-be assassin who struggled with Willy until the killer apparently suffocated him.

Fearing a murder had occurred the agents on the scene began to close in but spotted Willy jogging away with the two women. Assuming the murder attempt failed they began to follow the murder suspect, Vito Cortizone, who lost his pursuit when the threesome took off in a speedboat causing great angst among fishermen during their reckless escape.

The speedboat ran out of gas and the three returned to the beach house where they were accosted by Mr. Cortizone who quickly emptied his Smith and Wesson into Willy's chest but by the time the agents arrived Willy and the two women had disappeared.

The arrest was made from concerns of a airline steward about the haggard condition of Mr. Bernard, the offensive smell, and the women's excited talk of 'loving their willy' and 'the mile high club'.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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