Written by Charpa93
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Topics: Farting, FOX News, Fox

Tuesday, 6 April 2010

image for Fox Employee Threatens Suit over Boss' Excessive Flatulence

A former Fox News employee is threatening to file a lawsuit in New York District Court against News Corp, the parent company of Fox News Channel, and Fox News President, Roger Ailes, claiming that she was wrongfully terminated when she told the HR manager that she could no longer work closely with Mr. Ailes due to his "inability to control his intestinal disruptions regularly throughout the day." In other words, his farts stank to high heavens. Additional claims of unsafe working conditions and exposure to an environmental hazard in the workplace are also being leveled against the company.

Ling Chang Phu, personal assistant to Aisle's executive assistant, stated that she was regularly asked to bring various items into Mr. Ailes' office throughout the day. "First thing in the morning, it was more like just a rancid coffee smell, but as the day wore on and Mr. Ailes consumed more and more carbs, he began to smell worse and worse so that by the end of the day, I flat out refused to take anything into his office without some type of protective covering over my nose and mouth."

Said Ailes' executive assistant, "obviously, we hired Ms. Phu to do the tasks that I either was too busy to handle or that I felt I should not be subjected to, which may or may not have included walking into what we jokingly refer to around here as the "sewer."

In defending against Ms. Phu's claims of unsafe working conditions and wrongful termination, News Corp attorneys stated that Ms. Phu knew or should have known about Mr. Aisles' flatulence problem due to the fact that before her promotion to assistant to the assistant to Ailes, she worked just one floor below his office and complained of a smell not unlike backed-up toilets permeating her airspace and regularly asked maintenance to take a look. "It is our belief that Ms. Phu was well aware of the working conditions she would be exposed to before taking the promotion, and took the promotion thinking that she would be able to withstand the smell for the substantial raise she negotiated."

It is anticipated that News Corp will attempt to settle this claim without the necessity of Ms. Phu going through with filing a lawsuit because they feel it could open the door to a class-action suit against Fox and Ailes by the entire Fox News Channel staff. Already, there have been rumors of mailroom attendants and other support staff threatening to quit if something isn't done about retrofitting the office with industrial-strength odor eaters throughout the Fox News offices.

An attempt last year to remedy the situation by ordering fresh flowers be placed strategically throughout the office met with failure when the flowers wouldn't last a day in the toxic environment. One employee, who asked to remain anonymous, joked "yeah, it's gotten to the point that someone suggested we bring a canary to work and if it dies, we'll know to get out of here fast."

We have attempted several times to reach Mr. Ailes for a comment but all times have found him either out to breakfast, lunch, dinner or "in a meeting with Mr. John," which we've since been told is code for bathroom break.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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