The news that conservative Teabaggers have finally addressed the plight of gerbils held captive by Representative Barney Frank has members of Washington's gay community up in arms.
A few years ago it was revealed that Barney's roommate was running a gay escort service out of the basement of Barney's townhouse. While Mr. Frank denied having knowledge of this enterprise, Teabaggers never forgave him for handing out gerbils to his friends as party favors.
The stories of gerbils being used to sexually stimulate the lower end of the alimentary canal were largely thought to be apocryphal. However, gerbils who have escaped from their captors tell tales that have been corroborated by pet hospitals treating these harmless rodents from the effects of this practice.
Barney Frank, in response to these petitions, said that he would free his gerbils if Republicans would close down GITMO and free the terrorists he claims are held illegally.