AUSTIN - Texas Governor Rick Perry is one mad, angry hombre. The Lone Star gov is hotter than a piece of bubblegum on a Laredo sidewalk in July.
He has just seen the video of hip hop soul singer Erykah Badu which shows her walking down Dallas' Dealey Plaza and shedding her clothes as her song "Window Seat" plays in the background.
Badu is just sashaying down the street as if she is the black version of the conceited, arrogant, and egomaniacal, white trash has-been Madonna.
And as Badufus saunters down the road, dozens of citizens of Dallas, fathers, mothers, children, grandchildren, and grandparents are seen turning away so as to keep from looking at Badu's cellulite covered repulsive as hell body.
The rappin' bitch has got to have the flattest chest of any black woman in the entire United States. The colored ho's hooterettes make Kate Hudson's little bitty tidbits look like Dolly Parton's twin cantaloupes.
And lets talk booty. Goodness gosh and shit fire damn! In the ass department, "Bad Ass" Badu makes Jennifer Lopez' humongous two-lane butt look like an itty bitty badonkadonk that you'd see on that skinny little cracker bitch doll Barbie, except only white, way smaller, a lot smoother, and made out of plastic.
Erykah, which is Swahili for "Hey my fellow jungle dwellers da tits and da ass don't seem ta be anywhere near proportioned" said that this is America and she can walk around naked showing off her nude body no matter how horrid-looking it may be if she has a mind to.
Governor Perry responded to that ignorant comment by saying, "Wrong, watermelon wazoo. You cannot just strut your junk in your trunk and funk in your fishburger in front of decent, law-abiding citizens and think that it is okay. It ain't okay, okay you Ballpark Frank lipped talentless piece of chupacabra shit."
For those who have not seen the video, it is really and truly quite disgusting and disturbing. Erykah the twat is shown parking her car, getting out, and walking towards Dealey Plaza, where President John F. Kennedy was assassinated in 1963, 46 years ago.
And as she waltzes down the street she drops pieces of her clothing, her coat, her blouse, her shoes, her bra, and finally her size 24 XXX panties that could also be used to cover a Cadillac Escalade SUV like the one Tiger Woods owned until his sweet little Swedish wife beat the shit out of with one of his number 3 irons.
Suddenly after Badu is standing there in front of a lot of shocked onlookers, who are probably thinking that this black woman is just another one of them crazy crack ho's, a gunshot rings out. Her head jerks back and she falls to the pavement.
Erykah has a sick warped sense of humor. Perhaps in her next video the low-life bitch can go to Memphis and film one of her cheap ass videos in front of room 306 of the Lorraine Motel where Rev. Martin Luther King got shot and assassinated back in 1968.
Governor Perry appeared on the three local TV stations in Dallas and asked for someone, at least one person who witnessed the unfortunate incident to please come forward and file charges of indecency on Ms. Badu so that she can be arrested, tried, convicted, and put in prison.
Within ten minutes of the governor's appeal, a total of 58,493 Dallas citizens had come forward saying that they witnessed the incident and are willing to file the necessary complaint charges.
SIDENOTE: The way it looks, Erykah "The Fat Ass Ho" Badu will be filming her next nude videos from prison. And she doesn't realize it but some of them redneck, white trash country girl inmates don't cotton to no one making fun of Dallas, JFK, the Cowboys, The Mavericks, or King Ricky Perry. And they certainly do not appreciate some bottom-feeding hip hopper exhibiting her ugly-ass body to white folks and their young'uns.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Amen brother. Would you kindly pass me da cornbread please sir.]