Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 3 April 2010

image for Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmare Show Cancelled After The Kitchen Burns Completely Down
The Colorado Snow Food Diner fire started when a hot French fry fell on the carpet.

DURANGO, Colorado - Chef Gordon Ramsay, who is noted for his fiery temperament and his culinary expletives, was in Colorado where he had made his way to Durango's very popular Colorado Snow Food Diner.

Ramsay was talking to the owner Endicott Swanpond about how important it is to have several fire extinguishers in the kitchen. Ramsay had noted that Swanpond did not have even one fire extinguisher anywhere in the diner.

He told Swanpond that he was going to effen report him in the morning. In the mean time he had him cook up one of his signature diner specialties which he calls The Deluxe Rocky Mountain Sheep Cheeseburger.

Ramsay asked Swanpond why he had no damn fire extinguishers on the premises.

Swanpond said that he used to have three but one of the pastry cooks, Monticello Duckside had misplaced them back during the Christmas Party of 2008.

He pointed out that Duckside had gotten drunk as a skunk and tried to butter up one of the diner waitresses' upper inner thighs.

All of a sudden Swanpond noticed a big flash shoot out of the kitchen. He and Ramsay ran over and saw that somehow the entire kitchen had become engulfed in flames. The cook had darted past them as they were running into the kitchen.

The smoke was intense and Ramsay right away knew that the cook had burned the hell out of The Deluxe Rocky Mountain Cheeseburger.

Ramsay ran back outside and hollered out at all of the diners that the waitresses were going to put all of their friggin food in 'to go' containers so that they could get the effen hell out of the damn diner before the freakin' place burned completely down to the son-of-a-bitchin' ground.

The next day Mr. Swanpond received a city citation for not having any fire extinguishers on the premises. He was later arrested and ended up spending three days and five nights in jail.

Gordon Ramsay was served with seven lawsuits claiming smoke inhalation, smoke dizziness, and smoke on the water.

SIDENOTE: Ramsay became so upset with the way that things turned out that he has cancelled his reality show Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmare.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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