The mainstream media and cable news channels reported two stories last night with the same caption: "Drill Baby Drill".
As President Obama announced a program for drilling off shore which was in direct opposition to his stand on the issue in the presidential campaign, the RNC announced that members of its staff were engaging in a similar policy in a West Hollywood lesbian bondage sex club.
While Obama was stating that the drilling would be off shore and out of sight so as not to harm America's vacation spots, Michael Steele, RNC Chairman, stated that their drilling was also out of sight and did no harm to America's vacation spots.
Obama noted that, "this country would no longer be in bondage to the middle east countries that supply most of our oil. Steele noted that, "bondage is not all that bad, but it is better to see one than be one." Several members of his entourage disagreed with him.
Obama stated, "No longer will we put the cost of today's oil on the future credit cards of our children." Steele remarked, "We've got credit cards."
Obama closed his remarks saying, "We will no longer have our hands tied behind our backs because of an energy crisis."
Steele closed his remarks saying, "We will maintain our right to have our hands tied behind our backs," he paused and smiled, "and our legs and feet too. Republicans don't have an energy crisis."
In other news, a postman was spat upon in Louisburg, NC yesterday after delivering a man's first unemployment check. T.J. McCorkle, a member of the Tea-Baggers spat on the postman and shouted, "Get your filthy commie gobmint hands off my money!"