Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 27 March 2010

image for NCAA March Madness: Zac Efron, Vanessa Hudgens, and Jesse James Watch #6 Tennessee Upset #2 Ohio State
The basketball that Zac Efron had the entire Tennessee team autograph. (Photo courtesy of Warren Beatty).

ST. LOUIS - Zac Efron, Vanessa Hudgens, and Jesse "How Many More Bitches?" James watched the Volunteers of Tennessee upset the Buckeyes of Ohio State 76-73 at St. Louis' Beer Guzzler's Arena.

Zac said that it was one of the best college games that he has ever seen and that includes the Hickory Stick State - George Armstrong Custer College game back in 2007, in which HSS trailed at the half 76-13 and came back to rally and win by a score of 77-76.

Vanessa said that she once saw her brother Tydell Hudgens score 93 points in a game in which his team Delaware Junior College defeated North Carolina State 94-60 before a standing room only crowd of 72,763, in an arena that only held 12,988 people.

Delaware Junior College finished the season at 1-29 but Tydell was named The Best Collegiate Basketball Player on the East Coast, The Nation's Third Leading Scorer, and The College Basketball Player with The Most Bitches.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: The latter honor was not made public, it is an award that is secretly awarded by 100 of the nation's top sports columnists. It is a tradition that was started back when Wilt Chamberlain, who claimed to have gone to bed with 20,000 women, played.]

Jesse James was asked if he had anything to say about the amazing upset that number 6 ranked Tennessee pulled off on the number 2 ranked Ohio State.

James just half-smiled and said that he really was not able to concentrate on the game too much since he is preoccupied with wondering exactly how many more of the 17 or so bitches that he boinked will be coming out of the woodwork to claim some of his wife's money.

In other news. Dolly Parton was recently asked if the rumors that she is pregnant are true. The 64-year-old tits with feet laughed and said that her biological clock had fallen off the bedroom end table and busted up into 28 pieces 30 something years ago.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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