Written by Dr. Billingsgate
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Monday, 22 March 2010

image for Blinky Pelosi Gangstas Massacre Healthcare

The mob takes over Washington: Blinky Pelosi, who looks like she went to the mattress one too many times, machine gunned down the Republican Party yesterday in a slaughter on Capital Hill reminiscent of the Valentine's Day Massacre back in the Roaring 30's.

During the State of the Union Address a couple of weeks ago, sitting behind Bo "Nappy Head" Obamato and to the left of "Handsome" Joe Bideno, it was apparently too much for her to coordinate her jack-in-box movements and her cud chewing with the incessant blinkings of her raccoon peepers. With the clock on her, she averaged 25-30 blinks per minute. With Bideno blinking at 3-5 times a minute, the race for eyelid diplomacy was over before it started.

Blinky can trace her funky head movements back to Mafioso gangsta, Vito "Chicken Head" Gurino; her eyes to"Cockeyed Phil" Lombardo and "Jimmy the Weasel" Fratianno. She claims she inherited her ability to go up and down from mobsters, Tony "The Ant" Spilotro and "The Odd Father," Vincent Giganto. What is it about those gangstas and their nicknames? They sure can pick out great monikers for each other. I can't believe someone hasn't made a movie about the Mafioso. They could win an Oscar with that kind of material to work with.

It was almost surreal to see Blinky, Nappy and Handsome Joe, with the help of Consiglere, Rahm "Dead Fish" Emanuel, pull off the biggest heist in American history. Makes you want to jump in bed with a mongoose, doesn't it?

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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