Written by Jalapenoman
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Topics: Texas, Swearing, bird

Saturday, 20 March 2010

image for Texas To Replace State Bird With "One Finger Salute"
Wrong bird, and wrong fingers

The Northern Mockingbird has been the state bird of Texas since 1927. Members of the Texas Legislature, however, have recently voted to change that wildlife symbol to "the bird" most commonly seen within the state. Effective May 1, the new state bird will be the "One Finger Salute." This symbol, also referred to as "giving the bird" or "flipping the bird," is accomplished by showing someone your hand with only the middle finger raised.

State Wildlife Commissioner Roger Cowell said that "most folks in Texas don't know beans about the Northern Mockingbird." We'd rather have a symbol that has itself some power and shows our opinion of them fellers in Washington what's spending our money stupid."

Additionally, the "State Moon" of Texas will no longer be Earth's moon, but the one made by dropping your drawers and showing someone your ass.

In a similar move, the State of Arkansas announced that their new state motto will be "Attention Walmart Shoppers."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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